


fernando torres does cannabis

by TehrBear



Series: So I got high and wrote this you're welcome [2]
Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Multi, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 08:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3642948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TehrBear/pseuds/TehrBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>juan has purty eyes</p><p>olalla is a goddess</p><p>john and sergio.......i apologize????</p><p>and dan saves the day twice</p>
            </blockquote>





	fernando torres does cannabis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FlirtyFroggy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlirtyFroggy/gifts).



> i did it again im so sorry im avoiding responsibiliteis
> 
> characters not mine theyre real ppl
> 
> also don tsteal i obviously spent a lott of time on this and like twenty dollars worth of weed

one day fernando is like walking becasue he is going to school. fernando is a good kid hes on the honour roll and like all the sports teams and he volunteers a lot at an animal shelter basically ervyone loves fernando and how could they not??? hes so loveable and cute and cuddly and have you seen pics of young fernando???

okay so he looks like a total fuckboy but hes not which is so nice to find you know? fuckboys are awful. its so nice that hes not and all his friends are very grateful for his radiant existence

anywyas so hes walking and practically skipping down the sidewalk and he gives this homeless guy his sandwich because he has had seventeen years of a full belly at lunch anyways

SUDDENLY *DUN DUN DUN* POOR FERNANDO IS PULLED INTO AN ALLEY AND SHOVED AGAINST THE WALL but its okay its just sergio some kid that goes to his school that no one likes but fernando likes him because fernando likes everyone not really he kind of hates everyone but this is a fanfic so i say he loves everyone so he does

“hey sergio whats cookin”

“lets do drugs fernando” sergio pats fernandos cheek or maybe he doesnt okay he pats fernandos dick NO WAIT THIS ONE ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE GAY okay he pats nothing he just asks fernando to do drugs before school which fernando thinks is WRONG but thats exactly i did today so i hope fernando wont be mad at me but technically i blazed during school not before school so its different

“sergio no maybe we should just go class is about to start and i have a test first period”

poor nando doesnt end up going to that test. sergio seduces him into staying (i know i said no gay but suck my ass) and fernando is only human and doesnt have a girlfriend or boyfriend because hes too busy with school and extra curriculars and vilunteer work

so when sergio is like “if you smoke this blunt i will give you the best blow job you ever had” and fernando doesnt suspect anything becasue of the innocent soul he is so hes just like okay and smokes it

the bklow job sucks btw like why had he even bothered but he was feeling gooooooood in the head so he just pushes sergio off him and hes llike barely hard anywyas so he pushes his dick back into his pants and goes to school

it takes him a while because he keeps forgetting where hes going and by the time he gets to the schoolhis test is like way ling over so he just goes to second period with is amth and who does he see when he walks in a laet he sees JUAN MATA HIS BFFL

“HI BFFL I MISSED YOU SO MUCH”

“fernanod we saw each other like yestereday chill your titties”

now fernando is super obviously stoned so the teacher gives him detention but tells him to sit odwn and not bother the class becuse theyre working and theyre doing like trig derivatives or some shit idk

his class is horrified because fernnado torres getting a detention is like fernando torres not looking gorgeous or being bootylicious WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE HE HIS BOTH OF THOSE THINGS ALL THE TIME

he goes to the back and sits next to juan and juan puts a hand on his shoulder and asks “honey are you okay?”

its not GAY okay they are bffs and they use cuyte nicknames and act like a married couple sometines especially when they are worried about each other and poor juan was so worriesd

“im fine jaun because i see your pretty eyes and everything is better”

okay so behinf fernando is olalla aka the love of fernandos life but fernando didnt see her when he walked in and she just gt transfered to this clss today so he didnt realize that she was there. she doesnt know that fernando is NOT GAY IN THIS STORY maybe bisexual but she gets sad because she loves fernando and now she thinks hes taking it up the ass form juan but even she haf to admit that yess juan has pretty eys and they coulf probably achieve world peaceokay enough about that

“fernando you missed the biggest chemistry test ever like it was so hard and you werent there for me to cheat off of now im gonna fail thanks a lot”

that wasnt juan saying it juan would never be mad at fernando that was said by john terry who was the school bully

fernanfo stuck his tongue out at him

olalla face palmed at his stupidity

juan wanted to pull fernando close to him becuase now he was REALLY worried

so john is all like “i have detention too today and youre gonna get it you lil pnk”

fernando boops his nose and john gts up to punch him or something but olalla casually drops her penicl case in front of him and he falls and embarassed himself poor john now i feel bad for him

whatever the teacher doesnt ntoice i guess and john just leaves the room crying or something

fernando doesnt even realize whats going on he just sort of lets juan pet his hair

“why did you have to get involved in the world of drugs fernando you were such an innocent child”

“juan it was like one joint my baby boo and i got like a really bad blow job for it”

olallagot upset at that too but someone else who was upset was sergio who is also in his math class and was listening to the conversation

he said “fernando it wasnt that bad”

and fernando said “yes it was”

he was mean when he was highh

fernando dint thing he was being mean, just truthful u know bevause hes like

i dont knowi forget

okay so THEN juan starts like whispering into fernandos ears and hes like “i didn;t know you were friends with the stonerkid fernando hes dangerous hes trying to kill leo and he kidnapped cesc i think i dont know maybe somehow thisis the same timeline as something to talk about i alwyas get confused between my stories and he alwyas laces his drugs instead of his shoelaces what if he slipped you something also he btter not be your new best friend”

“dont worry you are my juan and only” and then fernando starts laughing BUT ITS NOT GAY and he doesnt stop laughing so the teacher kicks him out. he sits outisde the classroom against the lockers and he waits for juan

juan doesnt come outside f the classroom right after class ends but olalla does and fernando sees her and he gets heart eyes like that emoji you know which one im talking about

she was the most beautiful girl ever and fernando had a huge crush on her so he went to her locker during recess no thats for children he went to her locker during lunch break which was irght after theclass ended aka now and he told her “olla youre the most beutifull firl ever and i have a huge crush on you”

and she says “thank you youre the most beautful boy ever and i have a huge crush on you but i am sad”

dnd fernando says "oh no why are you sad"

“in math class you said juan was your juan and only and that made me sad because apparently you like peen"

"NO I LIKE YOU AND IM SURE ILL LIKE YOUR VAGINA I MEAN PENISHES ARE GREAT AND ALL BUT I LOVE YOUR FACE AND PROBABLY YOUR VAGINA TOO"

olalla smiled really big because thats all she wants in a man tbh and then fernando hugged her and he smelled of marijuana so shes like "fernando are you okay??? your eyes are super red and youre talking like really slow" and fernando kind of just bumps his head against a locker

(guys I just bumped my head against some guys locker but hes a bvb fan and he says he likes my baRca hoodie and I think were having a fernando/olalla moment wait give me a second okay im back)

so olalla is kind of slow in this story even though im sure shes perfection in real life because shes a girl and girls are perfection

speaking of wags isnt antonella a goddess like how is someone so effortlessly gorgeous i want to marry her oops

okay yeah so olalla is kind of slow and doesnt connect the weed smell with the red eyes and fernand being weird EVEN THO SHE HEARD JUAN TALK ABOUT DRUGS though I have this theory that irl fernando is like the weirdest person ever to be around but like in a nice chill way does anyone else agree???

so fernando is like "i love you olalla even though this only the first time ive had the courage to talk to you"

and olalla is like "well i like you but i dont love you just yet we should probably go out a bit first"

but fernando doesnt really listen and he says "were gonna get married and have kids named leo and nora and theyre going to look just like me so theyll be super cute because im super cute but not like you because youre not cute YIURE A RADIANT GODDESS AND RADIANT GODDESSES ARE FEARFULLY BEAUTIFIL NOT CUTE"

and then fernandop kisses her on the cheek likr th ecutie pie he is and tries to skip away but he cant walk any more than i can write rn so he just sort of slumps against the wall and his juan and only comes to the rescue and helps him get to his next class which is PHOTOGRAPHY Which is my next class too so lets do this we both have a project due today that WE TOTALLY DID WOOOT

fernando gets on the computer so he can turn in his assignment (which i have to do too so just give me a minute OKAY IM DONE) and then hes looking for his usb but he cant find it and then someone dangles it in front his eyes and says "lookin for dis"

and he says "yes tank you very much oh its you sergio wth youre not even in this class"

"YES I AM FERNANDO YOU NEVER NOTICE ME"

"das not true i noticed you this morning when you sucked my dick and you were really bad at it"

"i just need practice i swear i will get better"

and then fernando is like "okay if i give you another chance will you give me my usb?"

sergio says "yes"

they exuse themselves to go to the bathroom and they lock the door and then sergio puts his hand in fernandos face and hes like "eat this"

and fernando is like "what is it"

and sergio is like "its for your headache"

and fernando is like "i dont have a headache"

nd sergio is like "yes you do"

and Fernando is like "yeah youre right" so he lets sergio put a tiny white pill his tongue and he swallows it and sergio puts down his pants and is like okay les do this but he doesnt say it out loud because he weird but not that weird.

the bj is like better this time or maybe its worse fernando cant really tell but he just wants his usb bak so hwo cares no one thats who. they didnt realize someone was already in the bathroom and he comes out of the stalls and washes his hands and watches them for a sec and then is all like 'omg youre doing it WRONG"

and he pushes sergio out of the way and replaces him and Fernando cums like in 2 seconds its that good and hes like "wow marry me"

and the guy is like "no youre marrying olalla remember" and Fernando doesnt remember because hes fellling super dizzy so he just repeats his speech from earlier

"were gonna get married and have kids named leo and nora and theyre going to look just like me so theyll be super cute because im super cute but not like you because youre not cute YIURE A RADIANT GODDESS AND RADIANT GODDESSES ARE FEARFULLY BEAUTIFIL NOT CUTE"

(no i dint fuking copy paste shut up)

"whatever fernando see you in detention" fernando didnt know that guy who gave beautiful blow jobs but if he wasnt apparently marrying someone named olalla whom his now evn more drugged up ass could not remember then hed totally marry that guy

sergio doesnt even say anything because hes so shocked

fernando forgets he was even there and picks up his usb off the floor where just assume it fell and goes back to class

his teacher gives him dirtier looks than my teacher is giving me rn for not working haha but he still doesnt work he only starts talking to juan about beautiful blow jobs because thats what guys talk about in their spare time i know this im a scientist.

okay before this buzz goes away im going to go to the detention scene because its v important

so john is like glaring at him but fernando just feels super sick he doesnt know what sergio slipped him but he wanted to vomit and his head felt like someone had rolled it on the floor and it felt like the ground was trying to suck him into hell and he wanted to cry

the supervisor was like called down to the office for some emergency or some shit so she dismissed the detention kids early and fernando was like "oh great I have to walk home now"

but then john comes to him and hes like "i will totes drive you home" and fernando doesnt realize john wants to kill him or something so he says yes

also the guy from the bathroom wasnt in detention like he said he would be he probably skipped people do that so he was sad because talking about blowjobs with his best friend for life juan had made him hornier than spanking porn does and boy does he love spanking porn. he still didnt remember this olalla person either

john doesnt wAit until they get out of the pRkking lot to beat fernando up. hed already gathered some goons and they were all waiting to take their frustration out on their pretty classmate so they like kicked him and punched him and shit and he was bleeding because that happens and theN GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY BATHROOM gUY comes out of no where and hes like "LET HIM GO"

and he looks super scary so everyone leaves and John is prob crying again tbh

and then olalla and juan come too and bathroom guy looks at juan and says "you have pretty eyes"

and juans like "tanks i know"

geez be humble juan who tf you think you are??

anyways so like fernando is on the ground like dying and then olalla is like "nooooo i will save you with my goddess powers" and she heals him

and he goes "oh yah youre olalla i forgot thank for healing me with you goddess pwers"

and shes like "ur welcome hubby"

and hes like "dont get ahead of yourself weve talked like once only juan gets to call me cute nicknames"

and shes like "youre the one who said we were getting married"

"but like not right now were still in high school you cant force me to marry you just because youre a deity"

"ok that makes sense"

then fernando says "JUAN THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL PENIS SUCKING GUY"

olalla rolls her eyes because she knows shes prob better because girls are great

"i have a name asshole its daniel"

"okay danny"

"no daniel"

"u just said danny"

"no i said daniel"

"okay danny"

nyways the moral of the story is dont trust sergio and DONT ACCEPT A RIDE FROM SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO KILL YOU

but also drugs are bad my friebds which means do them every chance you get but not the HARD drugs just weed stay away from cocaine and heroin and shit

**Author's Note:**

> i think this is the fourth time ive been super mean to mean t osergio
> 
> also i am bj trash ahahag 
> 
> leave pairings/prompts because id rather do this than schoolwork thanks


End file.
